Jokes and Quotes

• The other day I had the worst cashier ever! He was cranky and yelled a lot and couldn't figure out how to scan the items
  That's what I get for going through the self checkout.
• Did you know the first French Fries were not cooked in France?
  They were cooked in grease
• Last night my printer started playing music?
  Turns out it was just jamming
• What does Beethoven do in his grave?
  He De-composes
• I ate a kids meal at McDonalds today;
  His mom got really angry
• My son asked if I've seen the dog bowl;
  I said I never knew he did
• I feel bad for the calendar. Its days are numbered
• I sing opera in the shower. It's fine until I get soap in my mouth. Then it's a soap opera.
• What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
  A satisfactory
• The police just knocked on my door and told me my dog was chasing a kid on a bike. I just shut the door, my dog doesn't even have a bike
• Last night, I lost my dog while I was making a salad. If anyone ceasar, lettuce know
• The first computer was owned by Adam & Eve. It was an apple with very limited memory. Just one bite and it crashed.
• Every time you get to work, you should hide
  Good Employees are hard to find
• Why don't Dinosaurs make good pets?
  Because they're all dead
• I'd love a job that pays me to sleep
  That would be my dream job
• People call me skeptical
  But I'm not sure if I beleive that
• I gave my handyman 5 jobs to do; He only did jobs 1, 3, and 5
  Turns out he only does odd jobs
• Do electricians only listen to AC/DC
  Or do they listen to something more current
• I child proofed my house
  But they keep getting in

This is a bunch of links to other websites that are interesting or fun. Try the Internet Artifacts to see how things were or launch an asteroid onto the earth and see what happens or do many other things that are fun or weird.